Once upon a long, long time,
before the age of Man,
The Earth was green
and quite pristine,
an Eden wonderland.
Far wiser creatures roamed The Earth
pre-Man's ascendancy.
Tooth, and claw,
and tarpits all
just lived in harmony.
Fireball, and earthquake,
glacier ice, volcano flame
would rip and tear
The Ecosphere,
yet Eden stayed the same.
Then Man, the evil wretch, appeared
with greed, and carbon sin,
arrogant stride,
and market pride;
Man did poor Eden in.
But from patrician pampered privilege
a Prophet answered the plea
a Promised One,
Senator's son,
(failed doc divinity).
He collated contextless graphs
and false cause photo clips
and made a go
of a roadshow
preaching Apocalypse.
He soon was Senator, like Dad,
and even became Veep.
2000 went,
lost President,
and went off the end deep.
Then took the roadshow to the screen
to mass evangelize,
and pushed the vid
upon the kids
and won The Nobel Prize.
Though infidels and heretics
denied The Truth they heard
and dared profess
no consensus,
The Prophet preached The Word.
'Til in the halls of Congress,
His Gospel at last obeyed,
by their will
came Holy Bill
for Carbon Cap and Trade.
So rejoice, all ye brethren,
for His Glory is at hand,
His Sacraments
for low footprints
will justly rule the land:
light bulbs, trees, toilet paper,
hybrid cars, and compost piles,
windmill spins,
recycle bins,
and eco-marxist smiles.
Soy milk, organic honey,
Green Delights now all in store;
Liberty stilled,
with no Free Will,
The Holy Church of Gore.
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